Panties on the brain...............

when I was younger so much younger than today.........
Twelve to be exact, I used to babysit for the twins down the street sometimes.
Their mother was very waspy-pretty(?)and a lush.She was always very affectionate when she came home loaded, always a kiss on the cheek or a big hug,"someday my handsome boy." she would always say as I was leaving. I wasn't sure what she meant, but I would think about it sometimes whilst jerkin' off. One particular evening she came home very late, her make up was all smeared, she looked angry, no sign of her usual alcohol fueled sweetness. She went straight into the bathroom and then into her bedroom as if I wasn't even there. As I was grabbing my jacket to leave she called my name and asked me, "come here for a second." I walked into her bedroom and she was on the bed,propped up on her elbows, legs open, pantie's and a t-shirt. "have you ever seen one of these?" motioning between her legs. I looked down and then back into her blurry eyes, "In magazines." "Come here and kiss it." I crawled onto the bed and kissed her panties over and over all around, I was nervous, scared, excited, mostly scared with an erection. I tried to remember every Penthouse forum I had ever read, what exactly am I supposed to do. Her pantie's were getting very hot and very wet. She grabbed my hand and guided it to her pantie's, "Pull them to the side and use your tongue." I obeyed. New tastes, smells, the skin of her thighs brushing against my cheek, It was all very exciting except when she spoke, drunk and sad. At some point her movements became very frantic and she began to cry and out of nowhere she screamed angrily, "Go, Get out of my house!" She started sobbing deeply, I stood up confused, she pointed to the door without looking up. I left confused, feeling bad for her, crying and all. We never spoke of it and I only baby sat for the twins a few more times.
Sometimes I still like the pantie's pulled to the side, licking, fucking, whatever. Was I molested in some fashion, I don't think so. Inappropriate perhaps, maybe just lonely people trying to connect, whatever no need to analyze a memory. I yam what I yam.