GF's sometimes save U from yourself

I met a girl the other evening
lovely as lovely can be
dark dancing eyes
sexy as sexy can be
six feet in her heels
she made me laugh
as clever and funny as she was beautiful
instant chemistry, the kind that can kill you
with a smile on your face
she licked the tattoo on my forearm
then kissed my hand to say goodbye
I watched her walk away
tattoed in old letters btw her shoulder blades
...whore...
slayed was I

can't always fight it

my lip splitting

the taste of my own blood

the taste of your blood - my mouth

warm inviting

the violence of your touch

like a warm caress

I'm at home here

not always well adjusted

thats not how I was bred

my comfort zone

i wanna hold your hand

sick

At first it's like warm sweet sticky ice cream dripping down the side of your hand

so close you can smell her sweet breath

Her eyes unflinching as they look into yours

getting lost in the moment

Taking in the lovely skin that wraps around her face her throat

the neverending lovelyness of her black hair

it would feel like heaven brushing across your body

The small side to side movement of her bottom lip tells you to take a taste

and it all changes

Now it's like carnage against a back drop of a slow motion train wreck

bones breaking hearts breaking blood flowing staining

Changing the course of your life for one sweet kiss

one taste of new flesh

You've been here before, you know better

walk away

ignore the biting of the pouty bottom lip as you walk away

just walk away

she knows not what she asks

I know what I do

manpon

My girl pushes, I agree.
I avoid myself in the mirror as I shave.
I dress cool but I don't feel cool.
I go there so others can see me and talk about my art, feels like a joke.
I trust my girl, so I pretend to be interested, another time I might be.
The Viper catches me alone as she does, "I want you to fuck me like my mommy doesn't love me." she whispers in my ear. I walk away, I begin to think this is why she keeps trying to get my attention. She's a vampire, hate her.
I don't want to talk anymore, but the vodka helps a little.
I want to go home and hang out with the dogs, we leave, I smile for a moment.

life of the party

I didn't see it coming, it snuck up behind me and filled me full of black, life sucking, dull razor blade filled slimy bad. I haven't felt this way in years, I'm walking through it, I have a lot of experience taking this walk, but I'm having trouble getting to the other side. Wide open yet completely shut down. Satan herself came for the holidays (minus her meds) and reminded me from where my gene pool originates, hired killers, sadists, perverts of the worst kind, just all out chaotically insane people who know nothing more than how to shred souls. Although I should be happy this has ended with me, if I'm not in the right frame of mind when I'm reminded of this, I sink. The only thing keeping me from inhaling the black mass is that I know this to shall pass and I will be better for it on the other side. I'm paralyzed inside as I walk, as I interact with others, as I wake. I'm withering away in my cathedral of hate,sadness, pity, and doubt, I hate myself. It's at these times meds seem like a good idea but I really don't like the idea, as much as I am filled with this immense self loathing and need a break, I don't want to loose any tiny part of the good. I don't know, but I'm shure it will come to me it always does.

Have you ever been kissed .........

She leaned in to where I sat, her hair falling around my face, encasing it in our own little world. Looking into her eyes, I felt her lips on mine, soft, giving. I felt her in my entire body, all the dirt falling away. I felt like a boy being kissed for the first time.

xxx

true story

Oleg looked at Marge sleeping, he loved her when she was sleeping, he missed her when she was away. When Marge was awake and speaking Oleg wished she would go away or slit her wrists or his wrists. Oleg was perplexed, was this his lot in life? All he wanted to do is love her, this should be simple. Marge hated life and felt she had been dealt a shitty hand, Oleg being part of that hand, it was only when she was sleeping that she didn't think about it. They grew old together, bitter and perplexed, they died together in a horrible freak propane explosion in the back yard, barbecuing, bitter and perplexed.